S2 E39: 🦔 How to Make Peace with Your Money (Even If You're Not "Naturally Good" at It)
EPISODE SUMMARY
What if feeling "bad at money" isn't a character flaw but simply a sign you haven't found the right approach yet?
In this episode of The Money Healing Club podcast, host Rachel Duncan chats with Carrie Friedberg, money coach, educator, and author of the newly released book At Peace with Money. Carrie shares her own journey from financial fog to confidence, proving that you don't need to be born with a "money gene" to build a healthy relationship with your finances.
They explore how treating money like a practice (similar to yoga) can transform your financial life, why tracking your spending is an act of self-respect, and how understanding your unique learning style might be the missing piece in making money habits actually stick.
💬 "Anything is possible in your financial life if you're willing to track your money. What I mean by that is pay attention, tend to the garden of money, remain connected."
Key Takeaways:
You don't need to be "naturally good" at money. Building confidence with finances is a practice, not an innate talent
Tracking your spending (even with apps like Monarch Money or Quicken) is the foundational habit that makes everything else possible
Create a weekly "money date" where you review spending, categorize transactions, and plan ahead. Treat it like an important appointment you'd never cancel
Understanding your learning style (visual, kinesthetic, naturalistic, etc.) can help you design money routines that actually work for you
It's okay to hire help (accountants, coaches, experts). Delegating is strategic when you're prepared and engaged
Practice "budgeting out loud" so others see that managing money takes real work and intention
About Carrie Friedberg:
Carrie Friedberg is a money coach, educator, and author who spent 15 years helping clients build confidence and peace with their finances through her practice, SF Money Coach. A former classroom teacher who struggled with money herself, Carrie discovered that traditional "just make a budget" advice didn't work for everyone. Her holistic approach combines practical financial skills with emotional awareness and personalized learning styles. Currently back in education while still coaching select clients, Carrie just released her debut book At Peace with Money, which lays out her step-by-step curriculum for financial wellness at any stage of life.
⏰ EPISODE BREAKDOWN:
04:00 | The Yoga Mat Revelation How practicing discomfort in yoga translated into financial transformation and why "it shouldn't be this hard" was the turning point
18:00 | The Foundational Money Routine Why tracking your spending (with the right tools and weekly consistency) changes everything, and how to create a "money date" ritual that actually works
23:00 | Learning Styles and Money Discovering Howard Gardner's multiple intelligences and how knowing whether you're kinesthetic, visual, or naturalistic can revolutionize your financial habits
28:00 | The Five Levels of Financial Wellness From tracking to planning to analyzing to relationships to long-term health, here's the roadmap Carrie developed over 15 years of coaching
📚 Resources Mentioned
At Peace with Money by Carrie Friedberg (releasing January 20, 2026)
Howard Gardner's Theory of Multiple Intelligences Framework for understanding different learning styles
SF Money Coach Carrie's website with courses and coaching: sfmoneycoach.com
☎️ Join the Conversation!
Have you discovered a money routine that finally clicked for you? Or are you still searching for an approach that doesn't feel like punishment? Click on the big orange button on our site right from your phone or browser and let me know what your biggest money habit struggle is (or win!): https://www.moneyhealingclub.com/podcast
🎧 Your next listen:
Why you REALLY argue with your partner about money, w/ Couples Financial Therapist, Ed Coambs
🌟 Want more help?
🤑 Free Email Course: Curb impulse spending with compassion and mindfulness at moneyhealingclub.com/challenge
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🦔 How to Make Peace with Your Money (Even If You're Not "Naturally Good" at It)
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[00:00:00]
Rachel Duncan: Welcome to the Money Healing Club podcast. I'm your host, Rachel Duncan. I'm a certified financial therapist and art therapist, and I founded the Money Healing Club. You've come to the softest place to land in personal finance where we talk about all the things we don't usually say when we talk about money.
This podcast is for education and entertainment purposes only. It does not replace mental health or financial advice. So if you're new here or a longtime listener, you're likely on this journey of wanting to feel more confident and grounded with your money. You may have spent years feeling like you're quote, bad at money, quote, like budgeting is a language that you never learned or just doesn't work for you.
Maybe you've lost trust in your own ability to change that script. Well, this episode is all about recapturing that trust in yourself with money. I'm talking today with Carrie Friedberg. She's a money coach, educator, and now [00:01:00] author of a new book called At Peace with Money, which is just released and I'll link to it in the show notes.
Her journey is one so many of us can relate to. Like not feeling naturally good with money when she was younger and finding that traditional advice just didn't fit for her. She ultimately found confidence in treating money like a very personal practice, not as punishment.
It always works better that way. So in this conversation, we get into what it looks like to build money, confidence, one little routine at a time, how tracking your spending can be an act of self-respect. I love that and why knowing your learning style may be key to making financial habits that actually stick.
So if you've ever looked around and thought, how is everyone else doing this? This episode is for you. So let's talk about what we don't usually say when we talk about money habits with Carrie Friedberg.
Rachel Duncan: Carrie, welcome to the Money [00:02:00] Healing Club podcast. I'm so glad you're here.
Carrie Friedberg, SF Money Coach: Thank you so much for having me. Happy to be here.
Rachel Duncan: So are you one of those people that was just born being good at money?
Carrie Friedberg, SF Money Coach: Um, absolutely not. I, you know, could do elementary level math. But all of the classes in school after that were a bit of a struggle and I had to work quite hard at them to, to pass and everything. And I think by the time I got to college, I just took one math class, like the basic degree requirement. But I met these people along the way of my money journey.
That said over and over again to me, just write a budget and stick to it. And apparently there are these people in the world that can think about their budget or write it in their sleep, and it's very easy for them to orient and understand it and stick to it. And, not me. I needed help. I needed a hundred reminders.
I had to find the right, support team member [00:03:00] to help me figure this thing out.
Rachel Duncan: Gotcha. So where would you say, like if you, I mean hindsight's 2020, but if you were to look back in your timeline, especially with your relationship with money, what are some of the early milestones that had you actually turn towards it instead of turn away? Because I think a lot of folks who have a such a similar, sadly similar story as as yours, like that's not how it's gonna work for me, would actually take that as a lesson to turn away from money. So I'm curious. Along your line, at what point did you start turning towards that scary thing?
Carrie Friedberg, SF Money Coach: Well, I love that question and I really think, it wasn't a concrete thought about money, but it was the learned experience that I had on the yoga mat and showing up for the practice and stretching and leaning into uncomfortable postures. And surviving those 60 or 90 minute classes and going back again the next Wednesday and et cetera, et cetera.
And so [00:04:00] developing that kind of growth mindset and, but putting myself into physically uncomfortable positions as a, uh, healthy habit, as long as well as many other benefits to yoga, physical emotional clarity. Spiritual, you know, feelings of confidence and happiness. I took that willingness to, into my personal finance journey, and I literally had the thought it shouldn't be this hard.
There has to be a better way. And I think those initial insights came from, from doing yoga and knowing that if you make a decision and stick to something, persevere, overcome blocks and challenges along the way there can be lightness, and more ease on the other side,
Rachel Duncan: I love thinking about this metaphor of the yoga classroom. Actually, I used to be heavily into yoga myself and, yeah, literally the stretch, the can I sit in [00:05:00] some discomfort and the longer we can sit and we're not talking pain, we're not talking, you know, wrecking yourself over anything
Carrie Friedberg, SF Money Coach: right?
Rachel Duncan: but like, Ooh, that's a stretch.
This is a way I haven't been before. I find that little pocket of, okay. know this isn't forever and every time we can sit through some discomfort, it's like our capacity for discomfort in other parts of our life expands just a little bit and a little bit
Carrie Friedberg, SF Money Coach: Absolutely.
Rachel Duncan: That's so much how you can take that, that out of the room. I love thinking about
Carrie Friedberg, SF Money Coach: Mm-hmm.
Rachel Duncan: also love thinking of, the idea of going to a place like, yes, in theory we could do yoga at home, but there is a thing of being with others, having a guide and that that also is the environment where we can grow and stretch and increase our capacity for discomfort.
For me, I know that like having other folks around me or other guides really helps me grow. Do you feel like that's part of your money journey as well?
Carrie Friedberg, SF Money Coach: It definitely is. Back to those people that were born with that money gene that said, Hey, this is [00:06:00] so easy, just write a budget and stick to it. That sounded to me like a foreign language and I had no idea what they were talking about, where to start, how to do it, how to maintain and sustain, something like that.
So I was not someone that was gonna figure this out. Sitting by myself at my kitchen table at home. I mean, I, I love people and connecting, and I am a bit of an extrovert, but I, I needed a coach and a guide and, and someone to metaphorically hold my hand and cheer, lead and be there for all of it.
The emotional, side and processing and catharsis, as well as the very practical tools and skills that I had never learned before.
Rachel Duncan: Gotcha. Yeah, we all have to have those people. I've had them too. So tell me a little bit, because it just. your biography is so interesting, getting into the mindfulness based trust reduction, the psychology based financial stuff. So is this, sounds like you had kind of a moment of insight of like, what if I did [00:07:00] money, like I do yoga? Tell me then what happened from there on.
Carrie Friedberg, SF Money Coach: Well, I did draw a line in the sand and make a right turn in my life, with that aha moment that there had to be a better way. And I started trying to educate myself in all the ways I knew how at the time, like reading books and then series of books, watching webinars. I hired someone off of Craigslist to teach me Quicken.
At one point I tried my own spreadsheet and financial tracking software. And hired a traditional financial therapist, and I engaged with her, I think it was weekly sessions for six months. That was very, very helpful on the emotional side of things. Again, cathartic. I did overcome some, some blocks and barriers to more prosperous and
feeling more optimistic and happy in, in the house of money. However, I left that commitment with her, with [00:08:00] still no budget, couldn't save $5 for five minutes. I just had, you know, basic practical goals and systems that I needed to put into place. Finally at the suggestion of a friend . I hired my own money coach and I had never heard of a money coach before.
Life coaching was kind of a brand new concept in in the States at the time, and it was my work with that person. Because it was more of a holistic approach and she helped me address the emotions and, psychology and even spirituality around money and my family history and, my early adulthood and current life.
And, I took a real inventory of all of that. And the process with her was very rooted in step one, step two, step three. I needed that curriculum to learn the basic skills and then move on to the next level to expand things. And it really, really worked. In fact, my [00:09:00] entire life changed inside and out.
By doing those steps and being in action. Mostly inside. I felt like an adult for the first time. I was able to show up at work differently in roommate relationships and romantic relationships. I used to be someone who would just collapse and start crying, or literally physically go deaf when a conversation around money came up.
And then I was able finally with that, like. Good yoga posture, to stand on my own two feet and have these somewhat, sometimes conflict ridden or difficult conversations. And even in my, family of origin, I showed up in a different way. So I was earning more. I moved into a nicer apartment. There were all of these signs , along the way, and it was a result of that whole transformation that.
I decided to do the same counselor training program that my own coach had done. So a year long intensive and, and then after that, launched SF [00:10:00] Money Coach back in 2010.
Rachel Duncan: Gotcha. So not only were you in the client seat, you're like, this was so transformative. Now I really wanna know like, what's the backside of that? And for you to take that other seat
Carrie Friedberg, SF Money Coach: Yes.
Rachel Duncan: at the table. That's, that's beautiful. So since then, has this been like a full-time thing for you? And what, what type of work are you doing day to day now?
Carrie Friedberg, SF Money Coach: Well, yes and no. So I did, financial coaching for 15 years and at first I did keep my day job as I grew my coaching practice. My day job by then was, a small tutoring business. So, my first career before any of this and sort of, what led me to financial strife, trouble credit card debt, anxiety, and all of these things that I couldn't figure out, is that I was a classroom teacher,
Rachel Duncan: Oh yeah.
Carrie Friedberg, SF Money Coach: I wasn't earning very much.
And that's what I studied in graduates and everything. Education. And, I had a very big vision for my life and my [00:11:00] lifestyle. I was living in San Francisco, and I wanted to travel and eat out and see live music and it just wasn't adding up. So even with literally four side hustles, like the coaching, tutoring, babysitting, outdoor ed leadership in the summer, .
And so I pivoted and just thought, oh, I can make more per hour as a tutor. Anyway, so I am launching the, financial coaching practice and eventually I got enough clients to really make the switch and only do financial coaching. So it's been roughly 15 years since then as we're here at the end of 2025.
And, uh, life through my now husband and I, a big curve ball. A couple years ago he was laid off as, part of the watershed, release from Covid and everything else, and I made a decision to get benefits for our family, specifically health insurance. So [00:12:00] recently I went back to education after 15 years of coaching, so now I'm working at a school again and it's wonderful and I'm very grateful for the job and it's really interesting to be leaving the house every day again.
'cause I worked from home before, out in the world getting to really, fuel and feel that extrovert side of myself and be a part of a community of educators. So it's really working in so many ways and I'm still coaching a few clients, longtime favorites, and, particular new interesting cases that come in, on the side, on, on some Sundays, or, you know, I'm, I'm making it work
Rachel Duncan: that's fantastic. I think educating and coaching really goes hand in hand and I'm sure they inform each other, especially, I would imagine stepping away and then coming back. Right. Coming back into teaching. After having that experience with coaching adults, I would, I would venture to guess. They would really inform each other actually.
And I tutored my way through, grad [00:13:00] school myself. I love tutoring math. I actually thought that might have been a thing that I took on all the way. So I'm still sitting with people with numbers, but not quite, learning fractions. Yeah. Yeah.
Carrie Friedberg, SF Money Coach: right. Funny.
Rachel Duncan: Tell me about your book. Well, first off, how did you write a book in all of this and tell us a little bit
Carrie Friedberg, SF Money Coach: Oh my gosh. I know. Well, I feel so lucky and it was really a, a series of serendipitous, events. So I have the book right here. I'm so proud. I, I just got, my author copies yesterday, so this is a brand new experience and moment for me and writing a book was a long time personal and professional goal.
I actually thought that I would write a book about relationships because I had many journeys and experiences and near engagements and everything else, and I didn't get married for the first time until I was 38. So, there, there was a lot of material there. However throughout my coaching practice, I did a lot of.
Writing like [00:14:00] blog posts and articles, newsletters, things like that. I got a lot of positive feedback. And some of my, posts got some traction and were reprinted and kind of circulated. Got a couple opportunities to be quoted and major media outlets and all of that was kind of part of this and I
had a lot of writing after 15 years, and I thought, I really wanna write this money book. I think the book that my, like soul's desire is consistently telling me, is gonna be about personal finance and it is a prescriptive, nonfiction, self-help book. That's true. It's very much. I lay out that curriculum I mentioned that I experienced myself and then honed and developed, for modern times and things like that.
Kind of a through J of these are the basic practices and, the best tools that I have found, and [00:15:00] routines and things like that, that anyone in any stage of their own money journey, that they can adopt and fold into their life. The big serendipitous event, though, that got me actually started on writing the book three years ago.
So it, it takes a long time. Oh my God. It was the largest project of my life. Even with all that content, I was at a private salon style living room, financial giving a financial wellness workshop to a group of moms who all had 20 somethings. So either kids in college or recently out and launching.
So all these mothers were dealing with the kind of problems of parenting during that phase, particularly around money. And I was kind of in a mood that day in a good way. I was really on fire. I was being funny and direct and, and I said, okay, ladies, step one, take back the credit [00:16:00] cards. And there were literally audible gasps and people were laughing out of resonating, like shocked and oh my God.
And all of them had sent their kids off to live in New York City without jobs. And how long do I support that? And whatever, all these different stories. And. It was a big kind of come to Jesus moment for them and my other kind of prescriptions for teens and young adults. It's a chapter in my book. I lay it all out and we had dinner afterwards and this person sitting next to me at dinner said, I really liked your talk.
You should write a book. I want your book.
Rachel Duncan: Hmm.
Carrie Friedberg, SF Money Coach: And I thought, oh my God. What is this, this moment? Is this happening right now? So I follow up with her. She's a 30 year publishing professional. And I wrote this very professional email. Didn't hear back. It gets lost in the ether. [00:17:00] Six months go by and I hear from her, Carrie, I found your email.
It's the bottom of my inbox. I wanna help you. Let me help you. It was that person that graciously and generously, volunteered her time to help me write this 50 page book proposal, like in the professional way with like 27 components to it. It's this whole own mini book, and she introduced me to someone I hired as my agent.
My agent shopped my book around. I got one offer and that turned into this book.
Rachel Duncan: Well that's amazing. Will you hold it up again? So this book,
Carrie Friedberg, SF Money Coach: Yes.
Rachel Duncan: out at January. Remind me.
Carrie Friedberg, SF Money Coach: 20th.
Rachel Duncan: 20th 2026. I will put all the links in the show notes so you can pick up At Peace With Money by Carrie Friedberg. Carrie, I wonder if you could share one of your favorite routines. Is there a routine that you have that's maybe an unusual one that's sort of not the typical advice we we hear [00:18:00] about money.
Carrie Friedberg, SF Money Coach: Well, I think. It comes down to spending time with your money, and it's a little more than scrolling through your online banking app. You know, it's scrolling through your checking or credit card transactions. Taking it one step further that I think is the primary routine and that everyone and I still do this today, needs to start here in order to get through that learning curve of healthy habits around money, higher sense of control, awareness.
Planning, looking at the difference between what you thought would happen and what did happen, how do you deal with that? Everything comes from this foundational routine, which is. Writing down your spending? When I started [00:19:00] my financial healing, the phase that really made all the difference for me, it was working with a coach.
She had me writing down every single thing I spent by hand. And I did that for two years. And that is a suggestion I don't make anymore because everyone's life is moving too fast now with technology and, and there are so many amazing, powerful tools out there. And so there is a way to maintain a high level of money, consciousness and using technology, but it takes practice to master those tools and to be in the driver's seat of your relationship with money and make it work for you, rather than passive where money is kind of happening to you.
And so the version of writing down everything you spend or using a financial tracking software like Quicken or Monarch Money where you, and this is the kicker where you categorize your spending. So that's kind of [00:20:00] the new version of writing down everything you spend is, okay was that meal a business meal or personal,
yeah, you get the idea and, but in order to make that happen, and I think this would be the more subtle, unusual suggestion is you have to create the time and space for that. And that's, that's why the kind of step one is the hardest thing that people will do. And so I call it a money date. Or you can say if you're in a couple or living with someone, you can say.
Looking at the money with your honey. Some people need to, like we were talking about before, leave their home and go to a cafe, order their favorite drink, put the headphones on, get a treat from the, you know, croissant selection and reconcile that week's spending or the last two weeks and, and plan ahead.
So I really encourage people to have a proactive [00:21:00] forward looking perspective, no more rear view mirror accounting. So you always wanna be planning ahead and then staying connected to your money through a relatively simple, but not always easy to do, say weekly routine of looking at your money and identifying.
Yes, yes. This is where I spent it, cleaning up any mysteries or questions and, look, I don't think people ever get to the bottom of their financial to-do list. So that's the moment, the half an hour a week. It can take as little as five minutes when you really get into it, but in the beginning I would block out an hour.
Like it's, it's a person of dignity coming to visit or, your, a-list client, appointment. So you would never cancel and you don't allow interruptions and you kind of silence the phone and, and do the best you can to be present with your finances.
Rachel Duncan: I love that. I, I totally agree and I think sometimes folks come to me as they probably come to you just like feeling so [00:22:00] overwhelmed. 'cause I've been ignoring this for so long. There's too much to do.
Carrie Friedberg, SF Money Coach: Yes.
Rachel Duncan: Like you said, you're never really
Carrie Friedberg, SF Money Coach: Mm.
Rachel Duncan: at the end of it, like even, even people who are quote unquote, you know, good with money, you know, there's always stuff to do.
And I, I think that, I'm with you doing something related to knowing what's happening with your money. Thinking ahead. For me, it's finished up Fridays. So my finish it up Fridays is like, is there a return I need to do? Is
Carrie Friedberg, SF Money Coach: Yes.
Rachel Duncan: like there was that weird, PayPal thing. Where'd that come from? I think also for me, mine personally has gotten spread out to be more of a daily practice. Not in a rigid daily thing, but ever since I took social media off my phone, when I'm feeling
Carrie Friedberg, SF Money Coach: Mm-hmm.
Rachel Duncan: pick up my phone, I just, I open up my Monarch Money app and I just noodle around in there and so it's not so much of a weekly thing, but I'm much more in touch with it because I'm not using my phone for other things. So again,
Carrie Friedberg, SF Money Coach: love that. Mm-hmm.
Rachel Duncan: this can look really different for everybody. That's just sort of my, my dorky money geek practice
Carrie Friedberg, SF Money Coach: Oh my God, I love your practice so [00:23:00] much and, and the truth is people have to. Maybe change and edit their practices over time, different seasons when work is more demanding or kids schedules change or whatever it is. And I, I also have a chapter in my book about learning styles and money, like different personality types.
And if you're somebody that's really into nature or music, here are some ways you can set yourself up for success for these kind of, finish it up Fridays or money dates. I love that.
Rachel Duncan: I'm actually really curious. Could you tell me more about the different learning styles that you identify in the book?
Carrie Friedberg, SF Money Coach: Yes. Let's see. So can I rattle them off? So when I was in graduate school, back in around year 2000, at the University of San Francisco studying elementary education. I came across this profound educator named Howard Gardner, and he developed this theory of multiple intelligences. And this is something that
has stuck with [00:24:00] me and it really allowed me to get to know myself, frankly, when I did the, inventory, to figure out what my strengths are and areas that need development or nurturing growth. It was really affirming for my unique, you know, proclivities and as a teacher or a coach or a parent or anybody on this planet, when you're sharing space and working with other humans, the more self-awareness that you can bring into those relationships and,
Expectations, the better. So the, the idea was, to thine own self be true.
Rachel Duncan: There it is.
Carrie Friedberg, SF Money Coach: And yes, i've been trying as best I can to walk the walk and live by that as much as possible so that I'm not only teaching or coaching in a way that works for me, to be a [00:25:00] good, and now I'm a parent too, so teacher, coach, parent, I need to teach in a way that will help.
Others rise to the occasion and be successful, happy, confident, and free everything, that I would wish for myself, wish for them. But you have to understand that people operate differently. And so there are, people with. Visual strength, spatial awareness, mathematical, logical, naturalistic, verbal,
and then there's intrapersonal people who really.
Rachel Duncan: And then there's kinesthetic, right?
Carrie Friedberg, SF Money Coach: yes. And I'm an athlete, so I, that's probably my dominant, learning style, which isn't really common in schools and classrooms and things like that, but it is more these days with, fidget tools or standing desks and things like that. But, yeah, it just, it felt good to know myself and, and helped me identify strengths and areas of [00:26:00] growth in others.
Rachel Duncan: That's a wonderful , I'm feeling very nostalgic. My mother was an educator and she loved Howard Gardner's stuff. And when I was in grad school
Carrie Friedberg, SF Money Coach: Oh yeah.
Rachel Duncan: for therapy, I did a little deep dive on, on the, the multiple intelligences. And what I love about it is it's so non pathologizing.
Carrie Friedberg, SF Money Coach: Mm-hmm.
Rachel Duncan: I think the mainstream has a bias towards like identifying what intelligence is, which is often, you know, the math one. The math and logic. And I think
Carrie Friedberg, SF Money Coach: Yes.
Rachel Duncan: like, well there's a lot more intelligences out there. It's not like if a kid or a person isn't strong in that one that they don't have any other intelligences.
'cause they probably have a lot more that's backing them up. Right? A kid with strong, really strong social skills or is really, actually intelligent with their body, and I think it's such a
Carrie Friedberg, SF Money Coach: Mm-hmm.
Rachel Duncan: beautiful way to, honor our strengths in ourselves and in others. Oh, I love this. I'm gonna, I'm gonna reread all my stuff about Howard Gardner and I am thrilled that you brought that into the book, and I can't wait to read that section, especially.
Carrie Friedberg, SF Money Coach: Awesome. Thank you so much. Yeah, I love [00:27:00] it. And and that's amazing that you're familiar with it too. Yeah.
Rachel Duncan: Cool. Anything else from the book that you're particularly excited about that you'd like
Carrie Friedberg, SF Money Coach: Let's see. Oh my gosh. I am looking at the table of contents right now. I mean. I have to say that I'm really, really proud of, of what I, I created here. You know, I mentioned that foundational practice around tracking and, and I really believe and, and stand by this statement that. Anything is possible in your financial life if you're willing to track your money.
And what I mean by that is pay attention tend to the garden of money, remain connected. Look, we can have plans and spending plans and budgets, but life promises to throw you curve balls. And we don't have crystal balls. You can't, there's no such thing as a perfect budget or this, the same budget every month.
And so it, it's [00:28:00] getting into the gray area and being flexible and holding it lightly. And working like that. And so I think once people master develop a system and routine around tracking, from there you can start creating accurate plans. So that's kind of level two of financial wellness is planning, which I think is very, very powerful.
And it's where. There's a statistic like 75% of Americans don't do that. They, they don't look and they certainly don't plan and budget. And so the invitation is to be an outlier and to do things a little differently at any stage in life. I remember being in my late twenties at a group dinner in, in San Francisco and literally pulling out my checkbook register.
Well, first of all, act, asking for a separate check. Which was like such a big deal. Who am I? It was like wearing someone else's clothes and then writing it down in the moment. And [00:29:00] also being okay with that and being right with that. I'm someone who has this practice and this is like, it wasn't life or death exactly, though.
It did feel that intense at times. That, that, that this is who I am and these are my values. And, and being aligned with that
Rachel Duncan: I would bet, bet the
folks
that dinner table really took notice. Right. And like should ,
Carrie Friedberg, SF Money Coach: Oh yeah,
Rachel Duncan: I do that? Or like, oh, whoa, Carrie's like doing something different. You know, whatever the, the range of judgements may have been there. I do think when we can do, you know, the, the young kids are calling it budgeting out loud.
Now, if you've heard that trend
Carrie Friedberg, SF Money Coach: Mm-hmm.
Rachel Duncan: budgeting out
Carrie Friedberg, SF Money Coach: Oh, I love it. Yeah.
Rachel Duncan: don't we share this? Hey, you know, kind of
Carrie Friedberg, SF Money Coach: Mm-hmm.
Rachel Duncan: all going around. Looking at everyone else and thinking they all have it figured out, but like there are practices going on, there are habits and
Carrie Friedberg, SF Money Coach: Yes.
Rachel Duncan: show that, that like, yeah, this is what it looks like for me to make sure I still have money left at the end of the month or, or whatever it is.
Yeah, yeah,
Carrie Friedberg, SF Money Coach: yes. I mean at, at the very [00:30:00] basic, be able to pay all of my bills on time in full. I mean, it took me a few years to create balanced spending plans. I was just in my, the money fog was so thick, it took a lot of work and effort to pull my head out of the sand, and continue showing up. I'll say just quickly that the third level of financial wellness that I describe in the book is analyzing.
So again, that's the difference between what I thought or wanted or needed to happen and what did happen. And so understanding that, navigating disappointment, self-forgiveness acceptance and moving forward, trying again next time if it's overspending on groceries or clothes or other hotspot areas of money.
And I have a lot of what are called listicles around five reasons we overspend and four solutions to a shortfall and like these things that are very, doable because, Marie Forleo [00:31:00] named, one of her books. Everything is Figureoutable and I love that word 'cause it's kind of how I, how I think about things.
It's, it's playful and that, you know, no challenge can really keep us down forever. The fourth level of financial wellness is around relationships and family life. So even if someone is single, by choice or circumstance, forever. Like I said before, we all have relationships anyway that we have to deal with family members, children, adult children, neighbors, colleagues at work, and you know, even the people at the vet office or whoever it is.
And money is ingrained into a lot of these interactions and relationships. And so again, how to bring the, the good, the good energy, positive thinking, optimism, confidence clarity and just self care into those moments. That can be tricky without some [00:32:00] practice and feedback from someone like you, a therapist or, or a coach or just, holding up the mirror by looking at your money, uh, and, and caring for it on a regular basis.
And then the final stage of financial wellness is long-term financial health. So there are, you know, documents that people need at different stages of life, especially if they couple up or have kids and life expands and there are more responsibilities and there's more paperwork to deal with. And, we're not, again, expected to figure this out by ourselves.
It's too difficult. There are a lot of. I think affordable or even, internet based experts out there. I mean, for example, it was a big deal for me to admit that I was not someone that could tackle or understand TurboTax, like these people with the money genes, that's like so easy for them. Like it [00:33:00] takes 35 minutes and they're done and they all they pay is the annual software fee.
And I'm like. There's no way I, I just get paralyzed, overwhelmed. I feel like I'm answering every single question incorrectly, and then there will be serious consequence. Like it's just like this whole anxiety ball for me. So when I made the decision to invest in an accountant to hold my hand and get to know my personal story and goals, to help. They were the people that were gonna study the 40,000 plus tax laws, and I was going to trust them.
Rachel Duncan: Yes.
Carrie Friedberg, SF Money Coach: I found someone that I liked, trust and respected, and then let them handle it and advise me it's in exchange. I wasn't signing things blindly, but it was just so, so helpful.
Rachel Duncan: I think you're right there's a difference between handing it off to someone 'cause you don't wanna deal with it or you're avoiding it or handing it off to someone because they're an expert and you're prepared for that. And there, there's difference
Carrie Friedberg, SF Money Coach: Yes. Yes.
Rachel Duncan: There. Like, just because I, I'm with you.
I think anyone can become better friends with their money and probably learn quite a bit about [00:34:00] money. It's not necessarily a great use of your time to like learn the tax code. There are places where having someone come in and building your financial support team, is so important and to learn from them and to get that support. For sure.
Carrie Friedberg, SF Money Coach: Yes. Yes, totally. So that's the basic, that's the basic scope of my book. Yeah.
Rachel Duncan: These five, five steps, well, I'm really looking forward to reading it and I'm actually wondering as we close Carrie, I'd love to ask you a question that I ask all my guests, almost all my guests. Alright.
Carrie Friedberg, SF Money Coach: Yes.
Rachel Duncan: you can take a breath, you can take a little mindful moment, and I'm
Carrie Friedberg, SF Money Coach: Okay.
Rachel Duncan: you a question and I want you to go with your first intuitive hit, even if it's weird.
No judgment. Okay. If you were to picture
Carrie Friedberg, SF Money Coach: Okay.
Rachel Duncan: your money as a creature, what comes to mind?
Carrie Friedberg, SF Money Coach: I think of a hedgehog. Uh, I, I, I've learned that, a hedgehog is something I can hold, I can manage, I can, [00:35:00] I can touch it. It won't hurt me . That is something I can do. Like, for me that is manageable. And one of my nieces, Kate, growing up when she was young, uh, my brother had kids long before I did.
So I was like kind of the young aunt anyway, her favorite animal was the hedgehog. So I got pretty familiar, like for stuffies and things like that. I got familiar with this creature. She had multiples of them and hedgie and this and that. And so there's a lot of, just natural love and instinct around this creature.
That's what came to mind.
Rachel Duncan: I love that. And there's such a, I think of hedgehogs having kind of this duality, right? They've got, you know, it's, and I've held one. They're not like. Prickly. It's not like a porcupine,
Carrie Friedberg, SF Money Coach: Right?
Rachel Duncan: if you pet it the right way, you know, but there's kind of a protection on the outside and then there's like such tender softness on the inside.
They have that duality to
Carrie Friedberg, SF Money Coach: Yes.
Rachel Duncan: it that I think money is really dimensional like that too, right? Like it can
Carrie Friedberg, SF Money Coach: Mm-hmm.
Rachel Duncan: it's energetic and it's soft and we can have all this relational stuff and it also like buys our [00:36:00] groceries and it's very practical thing. And there are laws and there's a rigidity to it too. I mean, I'm interpreting, that's my interpretation of, you know, aspect
Carrie Friedberg, SF Money Coach: your
Rachel Duncan: image
Carrie Friedberg, SF Money Coach: You are absolutely right.
Rachel Duncan: Yeah.
Carrie Friedberg, SF Money Coach: And I mean, that is the holistic approach to, to personal finance right there is that it's, it's not that simple and money is emotional, and that's okay. If we can learn to expand our hearts tolerate disappointment, loss mistakes, we've, we've all made them. And again, pull up our bootstraps, stand on our own two feet.
Do the best we can with what we have now with awareness, continuing to educate ourselves, getting support as needed, even for a short time or a season. And, from there people can create their, their best lives and live into that.
Rachel Duncan: I love that. Well, Carrie, tell us how can we find your book and how can we find you out in the world?
Carrie Friedberg, SF Money Coach: Oh, thank you so much. Well, my book is currently for sale on Amazon and Barnes [00:37:00] and Noble, here in the Bay Area. It will be at Kepler's Books and Fireside Books in Redwood City. And we'll see where else it pops up. I'm working on that right now, but those are some online and in real life, resources.
My website is SF as in San Francisco, sfmoneycoach.com. You can contact me there. Everything is available and, and listed there. I have an online course, all my socials and so I would love to connect. I hope to hear from people.
Rachel Duncan: wonderful, and I will also link to everything in the show notes. All right, everyone, head over to sf money coach.com and I will link to the book. I might even add it to my bookshop, page. So
Carrie Friedberg, SF Money Coach: Oh, thank you so much. This was really fun.
Rachel Duncan: Thank you for sharing your insights in your whole story.
Carrie Friedberg, SF Money Coach: I appreciate your time, Rachel. Thank you.
Rachel Duncan: Thanks for listening to the Money Healing Club podcast. You can find resources, links, everything from this episode in the show [00:38:00] notes below, or at moneyhealingclub.com/podcast. If you enjoyed this episode, you probably really love my free email course on curbing impulse spending with compassion and mindfulness, you can check it out moneyhealingclub.com/challenge.
Do you have a question or a topic about financial therapy or about just living in this life with money? I'd love to get your voicemail to be featured on a future episode of the podcast. Check it out at moneyhealingclub.com/podcast. You'll see a big orange button there where you can record from any device you're on.
You can also be anonymous. We are in this together and I really appreciate it. See you next time.